and you said cock pushups were impossible
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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