i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
