whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
