How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
