i permit you to call me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
