I heard we made out
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
