Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
