The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
