apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
