My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
