i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
