Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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