Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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