fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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