His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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