You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
