I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
