I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
