We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
