why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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