thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
