Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
