Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
