I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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