do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
