you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
