so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
