We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
