ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
