Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
