i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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