went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
