Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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