He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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