The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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