Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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