dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
