I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
