he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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