ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
