at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
