Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
