Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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