she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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