woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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