I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
