the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
