The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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