Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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