hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
