K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
