weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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