We won't sleep together?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you will always have a special place in my vag
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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