Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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